Monday, August 05, 2019

Positive Outcomes and Negative Issues

Lots of positives in time since last post.  Success and such in many area's.  General happiness meter is near a 9 out of 10. 

But the negatives not directly impacting me but out there are....just there or rather everywhere.

Gun Control needs real discussion, and not just online discussion or posting meme's on Facebook/Twitter.

Fact 1 - As of 2017 the estimate was 390M Guns in America with 340M American's.  With 33% Gun Ownership when you move to households it moves to 44%  estimated have guns in there house.  I actually think it is higher but who knows. 

Fact 2 - Another fairly large percentage who don't own a gun currently would potentially own one again.

Fact 3 - Most crimes with guns are either pistols or not reported (60% vs 20%). 

Fact 4 - One May 2017 there were 2 Million legal/tracked gun sales in the US.  Say 20M a year.  How many non-tracked/personal/illegal gun sales/transfers happen a year? 

Conjecture 1 - Outlawing things never really works.  War on Drugs?  Can you imagine what a war on guns would look like?  Outlawing firearms and getting them collected would be...near impossible. 

Conjecture 2 - More guns makes people safer......Sure....right look at number of mass shootings since gun sales boomed.

Conjecture 3 - There are many legal uses of guns as outdoors people, hunting, target/sport shooting, and defending your home.  A constitutional change to modify the Second in todays environment?  Want to see a HUGE spike in Uber Conservative Republicans or even Conservative Democrats, etc?

Conjecture 4 - State level control in the short term is the most likely approach but rural/conservative states will skip so this is where in a normal situation the Federal Government should set standards. 

Conjecture 5 - Licensing just like a car, you need a license to operate and own.  Cheap license, High Training Requirements.  Background check, Health Check, Etc.

Conjecture 6 -

Hate has also become the norm - I hate PersonA and would kill this person.  Even said jokingly or non-seriously.  Kids here it and they don't get that subtlety. It permeates them over time that someone you don't get along with or don't like, you hate.  Hate is easy.   That's part of the whole thing about Light Side vs Dark Side.  Such an easy slope.  Dislike things, explain why you don't like/approve/etc.  Save hatred for true evil.  Hate on things not on people generally.  People fear different and want to have things like themselves.  But until you put a face on what you fear and discover it's human it's so easy to hate things.  Hate things that aren't fair.  Hate on practices that are evil.  Hate on ignorance, not the ignorant, though those willfully ignorant....

This is more just to purge the stuff in my head and make room for what might be a useful idea or suggestion even. 

Wednesday, February 06, 2019

2019 - Progress on a New Me

2019 I see is a major point to really turn around my life.  To manage work, to manage my MORE activities, to manage BikenetiCX activities, and to manage my life and happiness.  A large part of it is around being Positive and the power of being Positive and making a Positive Impact to those in my sphere of influence.  Being a better friend.  Being the guy who checks in on people and not just via FaceBlech.

So 1st up is health and wellness.  I'm surprisingly down to 202.7 lbs this AM.  I got on scale last week and with clothes (not typical) was at like 207?  And heavy stuff clothes wise as it was COOOLD.  Being 210 in December sucked.  I was 210 at early Sept before Australia.  Came back and was at 204.  So at 202.7 I'm definitely at my lowest in a while, hell last year I maxed out at probably 213 to 215, I'm discarding a 218 data point as a real anomaly. 



Sleep has been an issue I think due to 2 factors I'll discuss below but I've changed several things and I seem to be sleeping better this week so far than last few.  Stress sucks be it work, life or other stuff.  I'd been very regularly 7 to 8 hours up until January. 

Activity wise November and December were terrible.  Though I was walking a fair amount so not bad but it reflected above in the weight.  I had maybe 8 and 14 hours of activity respectively.  January I hit 20 hours which was much better though was a lower month.  It also does not reflect probably 4 hours of shoveling, so there is that. 

The Change in View
In Fall of 2018 I was again sent to Australia for work for a good while and this trip was so much better than the Spring 2017 trip, I was only doing 1.2 jobs versus the 2.5 jobs I was trying last time.  2017 was such a crap year due to the big customer project until I stepped way back in November.  So this trip I did have way more time.  I was running tons, walking around tons and tons and seeing things and living.  And it really struck me how much it sucked to be somewhere so awesome and no real reason to stick around and take a vacation as I had no one to vacation with there.  Years of being single/divorced had finally REALLY hit me.  So I watched a LOT of people there and the loneliness sat inside.  I spent a lot of time wondering if I would be single forever and did I want that to change.  Lots of thought about this under the surface when I came back. 

Went home to my parents for the holidays and my brother and I talked a LOT for us.  He had been pushing me a bit on dating on and off since last winter but fairly mildly.  Now we really got into it and my dating history and other stuff.  And finally I agreed that I would try and be positive and keep my expectations to reality.  Managing those is almost the toughest part of dating even in your 40's. 

So I spent time figuring out what I wanted, what I have to offer, and who I am and who I want to be and what i want from a partner, in a relationship.  I want a partner someone who enjoys spending time together and also has their own life and friends and hobbies and passions.  That they can compromise and I will share compromises where we can.  That they like to travel.  That they enjoy some of the same music and movies and books but I don't expect everything to be shared.  To put up with my odd sense of humor.  And all that stuff.  It's way more than this.

So I decided to join Bumble on Jan 1.  Kind of shocking how much response/interest there was.  January was the wild wild west and really went on what was  12 first dates.  Several second dates, and so on.  Some complete failures, some friendships and some stuff still going.  Also got back in regular contact with someone I had spent time with in 2015 and 2016 a bit on some casual dates.  But at that point I can honestly say as much as I might have thought I was okay to date, I just wasn't.  I hadn't really processed it out due to work and other stuff.  Then 2017 happened and it sucked.  I was so hosed.  2018 was better but I realize a lot of the first part I was kind of resetting from 2017 and regaining myself a bit.  Summer 2018 I fell into a major work project and several changes that due to the Australia trip did put me behind the ball and so I was busy and not really paying tons of attention to friends and others.  And for that I'm ashamed on how I treated my friends.  I wasn't a good friend most of the time.  Taking things slow and enjoying whatever life and my meetings bring me.

So as 2019 started and I set my personal goals and intentions (not resolutions), I reset how I looked at things and how I looked at work, volunteering, and life.  And I decided to be the person I want.  To be happy, support my family and friends, and have fun.  So far I'm doing well.  Not perfect, but I don't really expect to be perfect but I am doing better.  And I will continue to try and improve myself and how I interact with those around me.